The lighter side of Airline Network Planning… 🙂

Universal International Airways is changing strategies…it was once a major international player, now it’s a shadow of its former self…one day an eager Network Planner presents some ideas to the airline’s CEO to bring it back to its true potential…this is what transpired…

CEO: OK, so what you got for me? What’s the strategy?
Network planner: JFK–>LHR?
CEO: No! Been there done that.
NP:what about DTW–>CTS?
CEO: hhhmmm – how about we code-share that one?
NP:ummm SEA –>SIN?
CEO:Oh please, are you serious??? Don’t make me laugh
NP:Surely we can do PDX–>BKK?
CEO: Are you out of your mind???
NP:Not even once a week? How about once a month???
CEO:– hahaha –now you’re getting to be to a comedian!
NP: ummm OK – how about we add or resume some stations to Europe like CDG, FCO or maybe MXP? That should work?
CEO: hahaha – stop it – I can’t breathe that is some truly funny stuff you’re coming up with!!!
NP: Sorry but I really am confused, we used to be an international airline with a great network flying to major places around the world. So I’m not too sure what exactly you want me to do. Looking around all of our competitors are growing at such fast rate but we’re doing the opposite. We keep this up we’ll fade into oblivion. We still got a great group of people working here, all willing, wanting and proud to be back to where we were. There is so much potential out there that we’re just not exploiting. I honestly think that in order to grow we need to fly to more places, invest our fleet. It’s not all about the designers or celebrities that endorse us. That stuff is not critical. Basically if we want to survive we need to expand –
CEO: HOW DARE YOU USE THAT WORD HERE! We don’t expand we CONTRACT! Get it?
Now this is what you do, I want you to reduce our overall frequency and capacity by at least 70% to the USA and find 4 stations in Asia that you either close or transfer to our low cost unit. Make a press release to state that we are enhancing our network offering, that we’ve listened to our customers and we believe we are better serving their needs through these initiatives . Just say the the flights that  are going were never profitable – you can use “loss making” that sounds good. Under no circumstances are you to use the word CUTS – always present it as “changes”and “enhancement”. People are stupid and gullible – they’ll believe every word of it don’t you worry.
NP: But we already have a bare bones network, any more cuts – sorry – I mean changes and there won’t be anything to offer our customers. Why are these flights being removed – they’re always full and the yields are good. You won’t turnaround the airline if you’ve got no flights to offer.
CEO: Now you’re getting on my nerves with your stupidity. We’ve actually added capacity and frequency with our new schedules so be sure to put that too in the press release. Don’t forget to mention our new airline alliance.
NP: OK, but code-sharing doesn’t really count as added capacity as it wouldn’t be our own aircraft flying there and the new airline alliance hasn’t received final approval. And all our code-shares with our previous partners are gone, they’ve told us to get lost basically. No one wants to have anything to do with us. We’ve burnt bridges we shouldn’t have. And also we have such a good transit hub at the moment, one of the world’s best. Not so sure we should be risking moving to this new hub – we will lose feed from all our secondary cities. Don’t forget we’re not approved for the alliance – it’s such a huge risk we’re taking – it might not pay off.
CEO: Now listen up, do what I tell you or you can go get another job. Don’t forget I’m paying you good money to do this stuff. Now get out of my office or I’ll be late for my interview and photo shoot for Vogue Men. And never forget what I did to the airline when I got really angry things weren’t going my way.

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